Wednesday, March 11, 2009

Terror at 20,000 feet: Kyle Style

"You're traveling through another dimension -- a dimension not only of sight and sound but of mind. A journey into a wondrous land whose boundaries are that of imagination. That's a signpost up ahead: your next stop: the Twilight Zone."

In 1983, Twilight Zone the Movie was all the buzz. The movie was comprised of three classic eispodes that were remade. One episode, Terror at 20,000 feet, was redone starring John Lithgow. Those of us who remember the tv episode know that William Shatner was the original guy who played the part.

Sitting on the plane getting ready for takeoff for the first time, many random thoughts entered my mind. One was Alanis Morrisette's song Ironic. The other was looking out the window only to see a gremlin on the wing. I tried to picture what it would look like.
How weird would it be to see a gremlin on the wing of a plane?

Okay, that wasn't the type of gremlin you were thinking of. But still, it would be a sight to see. The city you see below is Dallas. Its funny, as we got higher and higher above the clouds, It almost seemed like we were too high. Like somehow being above the clouds was a dirty sin or something. In the bible, the people of Babel were punished for trying to build a tower to heaven. Now, we can go as high as we want without any repercusion. Maybe someday we'll even go into space!

Turbulance. Nobody told be about this crap. Randomly, pockets of air force the plane to drop or rise feet at a time in the air. Major thoughts of gremlins every time this happened. Actually, as I peered out the window at the cloud masses below us, I pictured a Care Bear getting sucked into the jet engine evertime the plane got bumpy. This brought a calming feeling to my gut.

Of couse I used the bathroom. Anyone who knows my love for novelty should expect nothing less than for me to take a leak in the wierdest place I can. I was on several different planes during my trip, but one thing is consistent thoughout all of them, the bathrooms are not built for people like me. If for some reason I felt it necessary to attempt a bowel movement in one of these things, it would have been ugly. I'm not sure how people find a way to have sexual acts in them. I guess I skipped that page in the Kama Sutra.

The funniest part of the bathroom experience was the flush. Where did it go? You know when your standing outside and a drop of water hits you and you think its about to rain, but there isn't a cloud in the sky? Look for an airplane up there and wonder.

Okay, so I would probably fly again. After four take offs and landings, I think I got the hang of it. Its all about realizing that once your on the plane, your pretty much going to make it to your destination or die. And no matter how tight your seatbelt is, or how boyant your seat cushion is, its an all or none situation. No big deal. I took one more look out my window before we landed:

Isn't it ironic, don't cha think?

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